The Loyalty of Severus Snape
by The Half Mad Muggle
Summary: Five snapshots from across the years - but no one knew it would lead to this.


**Title: **The Loyalty of Severus Snape

**Genre: **Angst and Tragedy

**Date: **8th January 2012

**Author's Note: **Happy New Year to all my readers! My internet is sporadic at the moment so I am updating when I can. Some more to follow this evening I hope! I do like to start the year off right, after all!

**Dedication: **Thank you, **His Lil' Half Blood Princess**! Without you, this would never have been written!

* * *

><p>The staffroom door was open, just a crack. Dim light was visible inside, with soft voices barely audible.<p>

"Breathe through your nose." Albus soothed the trembling figure sat beside him on the largest sofa. He brought one hand up and rubbed Severus' back gently as the other leaned further forward, head against his knees, arms wrapped around his stomach. He moaned as another wave of nausea threatened to eject foul bile from his mouth.

More concerned now, Albus brushed damp hair back from Severus' forehead and felt his temperature, drawing his hand away, "You are too warm, Severus. Come, let's get some of these layers off." When he was met with no resistance, he loosened Severus' collar and uncertainly removed the younger man's outer cloak, feeling the sweat that had dampened the black material. "Is this something you've eaten?"

"No…" Severus growled under his breath, "It's him."

Apparently these words were enough to unsettle Albus. He shifted position uncomfortably, drawing away from Severus and staring absently at an empty chair for a long moment, before returning his attention to his friend. "Are you sure?"

Severus raised his head. "Yes."

Albus nodded just once, before knowing that he had to do more to reassure Severus. "Do not be frightened. He cannot hurt you here. I promise he cannot hurt you here." He let his arm drape around Severus' shoulders, careful not to force too much pressure. "Another of your experiments?"

"His." Severus spat. He swallowed and rested his forehead against his arms, "They have not been this bad in years…."

Albus squeezed Severus' upper arm, "What does it mean? The illness?"

Severus was pale now, and the syllables he uttered shook violently. "He's near. He's coming back, Headmaster. The Stone…he must want…the Stone…" Black eyes looked up at Albus, and he could see only fear there. "I can't do this…"

Albus stroked his hair, "Shush. He is not here. He cannot be in Hogwarts. Severus, we always knew he had not been totally destroyed - but this time, I will do everything in my power to protect you."

Severus was clearly looking for something in Albus' blue eyes, "I don't want him to come back. What if - what if he tempts me, once more?"

"He won't." Albus assured. "You are no longer his, Severus, to do with as he pleases. If it is possession that you are worried about, then you are most certainly mine. He does not own your heart."

"No." Severus muttered. "You do." His words were very quiet, and it seemed as though such passionate declaration of loyalty did not come often from Severus, as Albus half smiled. "I would rather it was yours. But - I will help you. We will find a way to stop him having such an impact on you. When - and if - he chooses to return, I will stand by your side. You have my word on that, Severus. My absolute promise."

Severus raised his head from his hands, "I mean it. I am loyal to you."

Albus nodded. "I know. It does not need saying."

He soothed the other for a moment longer, before the world started to spin once more before Severus' eyes and he leant against Albus, gripping the arm of the sofa. "I am going to be sick."

And Albus did not argue when he had to conjure a basin rather quickly and it was rather tenderly that he wiped the corners of Severus' mouth with the affection that only a parental figure could give. Later, he was sitting beside Severus on the floor, while Severus dozed restlessly on the sofa. Half lost in thoughts of a Dark Lord, he hardly acknowledged the door gently closing - and even when it did, he discounted it as a simple breeze.

* * *

><p>"Albus. Albus, would you slow down and talk to me?" Severus quickened his pace to keep up with the Headmaster, who was storming along a deserted corridor. Severus, clearly at a loss, reached out and grasped Albus' arm. "Stop."<p>

Albus whirled and faced him, "What would you like me to say, Severus?" His voice contained a tremble of panic. "Everything is falling to pieces around me. Hagrid is to be escorted to Azkaban - none of my teachers believe I can protect the students - and my children are being attacked by a monster I do not understand!" The older wizard, normally so calm and composed, seemed close to breakdown. He leaned against the wall and shook his head, "I cannot…cannot comprehend this."

Severus came slightly closer, cloak brushing the ground as he stood against the wall in a similar manner to Albus. "Hagrid will be safe enough in Azkaban, he is strong enough to survive what will be a brief imprisonment. Your teachers believe that you are the _only_ person who can protect the students. Your children are safe in their common rooms, and you will comprehend and understand - when you stop torturing yourself." His words and voice were soft and underlined with respect and almost reverence.

Albus glanced at him, "You cannot truly believe that. I am losing my touch, Severus. I am an old and weak man. Pathetic."

Severus shook his head. "No. You are certainly not pathetic. Why would you deem yourself pathetic?"

"…Because I have not been able to stop this…"

"And you think a younger man could? Albus - if it were not for you, the school would have been closed by now. If it were not for you, the Muggle born students would have been destroyed by now. If it were not for you, Harry Potter would be dead, but I will not hold too much of a grudge for that." His sharp humour attempted to lighten the situation, but he could see that his words were not penetrating the haze of hopelessness that surrounded the Headmaster. "Albus. Do not be so self-centred and self-obsessed to believe that you can do everything and see anything. It's very arrogant and unbecoming of you."

This time, Albus half smiled, looking at Severus and seeming to see him properly. "Ah, Severus. Only you could make an insult sound like a compliment."

"It's a skill." Severus answered gently. He crossed in front of Albus, taking both his elbows briefly. "I trust you. I would trust you no matter what was happening. I would follow you until the ends of the Earth, and I certainly will never desert you for believing that you cannot protect your own students. We will find the solution to this, Albus. I promise." He smirked, "It's probably a machination of the Dark Lord, and he has been resurrected in Sybil's tower…"

"Do not joke of such things." Albus' tone was not particularly sharp. "Thank you, Severus. You have no idea what your support means to me."

"I have a very good idea, actually, otherwise I would not have said anything." Severus let go of Albus' arms. "Now, would you like to me to escort you to Hagrid's Hut so I ensure you do not attempt to drown yourself in the lake when you realise that there are only ninety-nine steps down to the Quidditch pitch?"

Albus laughed delightedly at this, then seemed concerned. "Is that true?" He smiled fondly at Severus, "Ah, Severus. Where would I be without you?"

"Dead." Severus answered quickly, and Albus was rather taken aback. "Thank you for that. No, I will be fine. You should spend time with your students - with you around, they will be safe. I am sure they believe you could simply smirk at the monster and it would flee."

"Probably. Between you and me, I plan to put Lockhart in the way should the monster decide half-bloods are more to its liking. He can write about it in his new book." Severus and his Headmaster had started to walk along the corridor. When they reached the splitting point, Severus glanced at him. "Feeling less pathetic and weak, now? Cannot say old - after all - that's just a fact."

"I feel much better now, thank you, Severus. Go on. I shall see you later."

Movement at the end of the corridor attracted Severus' attention and he whirled. "There is a student out of bed. I hope it's a Gryffindor. Excuse me." He started after the disappearing intruder, as Albus watched him leave. "Thank you, Severus."

But Severus was too busy trying to work out where the student had gone and how he had vanished, and did not hear him.

* * *

><p>A storm was gathering on the horizon, treacherous clouds darkening the very atmosphere as rain threatened. Most of the students and staff had retired to bed, but voices still penetrated the silence of the grounds.<p>

"I will not tolerate such disrespect from you, Severus!" Albus bellowed at Severus, stood only feet away, back to Albus, fists clenched and shoulders tense. "And I will not tolerated being shouted at, Headmaster."

Albus whirled to face away from Severus, "Why can you not just accept it was a prank? Remus was not even involved! He was the victim as much as you of ill thinking and a disregard for the consequences that all teenagers have!" Albus' voice was shaking. He was angry. "Why can't you just grow up, Severus?"

"You think that is why I am angry?" Severus murmured. "You think that I am still sulking?"

Albus, surprised by these words, turned. "What else could it be? I see no other reason for you to be so upset."

Clearly, he had said something wrong. When Severus whirled to face him, his eyes blazed black fire and Albus took a step back. "Perhaps, if you were not quite so obsessed with your precious Gryffindors you would have remembered to ask me about my arm! Perhaps, if you were not pandering to Harry Potter's every whim, you would have noticed that at dinner time this evening I had it tucked close to my chest because the pain is so unbearable! Perhaps, if you were not spending so much time with your werewolf counterpart - who clearly still believes Black may be innocent - you would have seen that I am terrified!" He broke off, and when he spoke again, his voice was quieter and almost dead. "Perhaps if you had taken a moment to look, you would have seen that I needed you tonight. Instead, you shout at me for something that happened in my childhood. You did not even offer me a chance to explain - you simply jumped to conclusions. You do not even think me capable of some other emotion besides hate." Emotions spent, he sank down onto a cold bench and exhaled through his teeth. "I know Lupin did not mean to hurt me. I find it difficult to speak to him because I am reminded of the moment I saw nothing but hunger in his eyes when he looked at me - but I do not blame him. He did not make the mistake. His friends did."

Albus watched him sat on the bench, speechless. It took him a few minutes to recover himself - before he stepped toward Severus. Still angry, Severus flinched away - but instead of sitting next to him, Albus knelt in the grass before him and looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry." He murmured. "I am so sorry, Severus."

Severus was staring away at something invisible on the horizon. He did not look at Albus.

"You are right, Severus. You are completely right. I was cruel and thoughtless and I apologise. I have no excuse - this was inexcusable and I can only apologise. I should have - I should have held my tongue." Waiting a moment to judge whether the movement would be well received, he took both Severus' clasped and shaking hands in his and clenched his fingers. "Is it bad? Your arm?"

Severus made a noise which could have been identified as an affirming sound. He was still scrutinising the sky.

Albus brushed his thumb over Severus' knuckles. "Do you wish to talk about it?"

Severus shook his head roughly. Albus stayed in front of him a moment longer before standing and nodding. "I have clearly offended you, and you are right to be. I will return to my office. Please understand - I never meant to hurt you in the way that I have." He started back to Hogwarts. Severus turned his head in a sharp motion after him. "Is it right to be scared? Does that make me a coward?"

Albus stopped. "You are many things, Severus Snape - but a coward you certainly are not." He faced Severus and met his gaze. "Would it comfort you to know that I am also unsettled by the signs that Lord Voldemort is returning? Any sane man would be. You are not weak for being scared - because you will not flee from that danger."

"You are frightened too?" Severus repeated, as if the very idea was alien to him.

"Yes. Yes, I am. That is not a fault. It's part of being human." The bare-faced and open honesty made Severus stare at him for a long moment. Albus was not quite sure what he was searching for, "I imagine Tom fears people too - he will certainly fear Harry Potter - and me."

"The Dark Lord is not human." Severus murmured. "I wish he had been destroyed."

Rustling in the undergrowth reminded Albus that they were outside and that a storm was coming. "Let's go inside. I can treat you to pudding, considering you missed it - and I'll see if I can find something for your Mark." He offered his arm to Severus, who waited a moment before acquiescing. "You will need to help an old man back through the darkness, Severus dear."

Severus smiled. "As long as you will always be there to guide me."

"That's a promise, Severus." Albus returned gently. Severus' attention was diverted by more rustling. Albus watched his gaze, "It must be a rat. Come, before it starts to rain."

* * *

><p>"I will hear no more on the subject, Alastor." Albus reasoned, tone slightly harder now. "Can we speak of something else?"<p>

"But I need to know, Albus. How can you trust him? After everything he did?" Alastor pressed.

Albus turned from the window to face Alastor. "People are always worthy of a second chance, Alastor - he has told me himself that he was pressured into taking the Mark, that Tom waited until his will power was low before striking the final blow - he has also told me in great detail of how he was manipulated and how mind games were played. He was not in his right mind, and he regretted his decision almost as soon as he took the Mark. He was so lost that he could not see a way out. You need to understand that he didn't know what was happening."

"Or are you just naive enough to accept that story, Albus? He's dark. We've all seen it." Alastor challenged. Albus regarded him. "I trust him. I would trust him with my life, the lives of my students and everyone in between. Are you questioning my judgement, Alastor?"

"All I want to know is what you told him. That is all I want to know." Alastor answered. "I nearly had him placed in Azkaban. Tell me why that was so wrong?"

Albus raised his eyebrows, "It comes down to the simple matter that Severus despises Tom and everything that he stands for. He placed himself at my mercy, willingly. He does not care for the Death-Eaters - he is so committed to bringing them to justice that he will return to spy on them should Voldemort return. Now. This conversation is at an end. Severus is a good man - he is not a servant of Voldemort - and I shall no longer stand for your prejudice against him -"

A knock at the door. Albus glanced toward the wooden frame, "Severus. Come in, my dear."

Severus slipped through the small gap and drew back when he saw Alastor. "You are busy, Headmaster. I shall return later." He was gingerly massaging his left arm with one hand, and that movement did not escape Albus. "Nonsense, my dear boy. You and Alastor are allies, remember? Alastor…" His tone was much firmer now. "If you would not mind?"

Alastor approached Severus. "Albus and I had an _interesting_ conversation about you, Snape. It is clear that he trusts you - and as a result - I shall reserve judgement." He held out his right hand for Severus to shake. When Albus, exasperated by these prejudices, gestured to Severus, the younger man held out left hand. Alastor gripped the fingers and wrenched back the sleeve to examine Severus' arm - the other recoiled - but Alastor was treated to a rather full view of the Dark Mark. "Very interesting indeed." He let go of Severus' hand, and walked from the office, pulling the door almost closed behind him. Severus returned his sleeve and watched after Alastor, "Do you not think he is acting more peculiar than normal?"

"No, I do not think so. Now, are we all set for the second task?"

"Indeed. What did - what did you say to him?"

"What do you hope I said to him?"

"I hope you convinced him that I am loyal enough to you for him to stop searching my rooms."

"He will not trouble you again, Severus, dear. Now - the second task. Tell me about arrangements."

* * *

><p>Albus heard footsteps behind him. He had asked to be left alone. He leaned on the pillar and tried to straighten his back - but the footsteps simply increased in their pace until they were beside him. "Albus. It's me." Severus reached out and gripped Albus' arm, "Are you hurt?"<p>

"No." Albus breathed. "Just very tired - he tired me, Severus - he exhausted me." He took Severus' elbow and faced his friend, "He is stronger than I imagined."

"You have been under much stress, Headmaster. Sit here a moment. I made sure we were alone - here, I brought some potions - I imagine the Daily Prophet have arrived and you will need to look your best." His expression was dark, "I should have been here - I should have been with you."

"Do not be so ridiculous - you did as you were commanded - which was to stay away from me. I am worried about you being here now - but - I must admit…I need you." Albus grimaced, "Perhaps…perhaps I am hurt…" One of his hands was bloodied.

Severus pressed a hand to Albus' side and felt the older wizard flinch. "I think, perhaps, he managed to wound you. Let me see." He pulled a potion and a cloth from his bag and tore a small gap into Albus' robe, giving him access to a gash in the older wizard's ribcage. He tipped the potion onto the wound and pushed it to Albus' side, feeling the other wince.

"Sirius is dead, Severus - he's dead - another soldier. Another of mine…when will it end?"

Severus showed no pleasure at this news. "Do not think of it now." Albus moaned again and Severus was more concerned, "It will start to ease."

"You should just take me to St Mungo's." Albus whispered. Severus shook his head, "I will hear nothing of the sort - you need me. You said. Now. Breathe slightly more slowly - you risk going into shock." He soothed Albus' other hand with his fingers, "That's better."

"Thank you, Severus." Albus smiled. "I love you so very much, my boy."

"As you have told me repeatedly this year." Severus answered sarcastically, investigating the cloth and Albus' injury.

"It is customary to say it back. Every time I say it, I am hoping that you might - " Albus broke off and leaned back against the bench, "Skip the Daily Prophet, I want to go to bed."

"There is glass embedded rather deeply in your side. I will need to pull it out." Severus raised his head, "That will hurt."

Albus was grey now, "Can it not wait?"

"No, it cannot." Severus looked up at Albus' eyes. "Sorry about this -" He gripped the glass, "I love you - too -"

As Albus was reacting to the words, Severus tugged and although the other groaned in pain, it could have been worse. Severus examined the shard of glass and drew back. "There." He rubbed his left arm uncomfortably, "His magic must leave traces. I can feel his presence. I expect he will summon us soon - you should head toward leaving."

Albus raised himself to his feet, "Thank you."

"All in the line of duty," Severus answered, tidying his potions away.

"No. Thank you for saying it." Albus corrected.

Severus raised his gaze, "I know what you meant." There was a shadow of a smile playing on his lips. "Let's keep it between us, though? The idea that I care for you as I would a father will very much destroy my image of a loveless and unloved bastard."

"Severus - you are so loved - do not ever believe otherwise. Come. I'll use you as a walking stick until we reach the reporters."

* * *

><p>Responding to the burn on his arm, Severus bowed deeply before his master before taking account of the situation - why were the other Death-Eaters seated? Anxiety spiked his chest when the Dark Lord bid him to look in his direction. "Severus. Severus, Severus, Severus." Voldemort's tone was playful. "Kneel for me, Severus."<p>

Severus forced his knees to buckle, lowering his head. Voldemort swept closer. "I want to show you something, Severus. I want you to listen to something, and then I want your opinion and your thoughts. I have asked others the same question. Your ideas will be valued most highly." He raised his wand and waved it once - and a voice filled the room.

Severus' voice.

_"I don't want him to come back. What if - what if he tempts me once more?"_

_"I would follow you until the ends of the Earth, and I certainly will never desert you for believing that you cannot protect your own students."_

_"The Dark Lord is not human. I wish he had been destroyed."_

_"I hope you convinced him that I am loyal enough to you for him to stop searching my rooms."_

_"I know what you meant. Let's keep it between us, though? The idea that I care for you as I would a father will very much destroy my image of a loveless and unloved bastard."_

Severus had frozen where he knelt from the very first word. The voices dwindled away into silence, and Lord Voldemort regarded him. "What are your thoughts, Severus?"

Severus did not seem to be able to answer.

Voldemort neared him. "Severus. What do you think?"

Severus raised his eyes. He said only one word. "How?"

Voldemort smirked. "The first year? Quirrell was outside the staffroom when you had your little episode - and your beloved Albus sat beside you, with one arm around your shoulders, telling you how I would never be able to touch you again because he was there to protect you. The second year, our dear friend Lucius - currently ensconced in Azkaban - was lingering at the end of the corridor when you passionately declared that Albus was not pathetic, no indeed, he was incredibly powerful. The third year - you saw the rat, you even commented on the rat, but you never imagined the rat could be an Animagus. The fourth year - oh - but by the expression on your face, you already know. I held one meeting with Barty Crouch when he was in Hogwarts - and he told me all about Albus' defence of you. And the final cut - one month ago - I saw with my own eyes. I saw you tell Albus Dumbledore that you loved him. I had spies, Severus. I had spies watching you - and they have brought me proof that cannot be contested. But I needed to see it. I needed to hear it. Your devotion." Voldemort ducked close to Severus, looking straight into his black eyes, pressing his wand beneath his chin. "Where does your loyalty lie, Severus?"

Severus did not respond.

Voldemort sighed and let the tip of his wand rest against Severus' throat. "Such a…such a pity."

* * *

><p>The body was discovered on Sunday morning by Hagrid, Fang and two students searching for wild beasts. Instead, they found the bloodied and lifeless corpse of a professor who had been missing for three days. Hagrid had picked the figure up from the floor and carried him toward the school, reverently, carefully. Albus had been seeing to some plants in his herb garden, trying to distract himself from the inevitable. He had been with Minerva. She saw it first, and did not know how to react - she should have stopped him from turning, but she could not rationalise or process action. And Albus turned. He looked at the crumpled body, the dark hair, the still and relaxed expression, the blood and the muscle and the bone exposed to the elements. He had taken Severus from Hagrid's arms and cradled him close to his chest, not knowing how to feel or how to think - just running one hand down the side of Severus' cold cheek.<p>

In the seclusion of the herb garden, only Minerva and Hagrid saw Albus Dumbledore break down.

* * *

><p>There had been a phial, tucked into Severus' robes. Albus had only discovered it the night before the funeral, when he had been sat with Severus, trying to find some sort of strength to carry on this pointless game. A phial of silvery liquid. He had taken it to his office, knowing what it was - poured into his Penseive, and then stared at it. He had stared at it for a long time, stirring it with his wand, not sure why he was hesitating but knowing he did not want to see the memory. Whosever it was.<p>

In the end, his curiosity had won out and he had leaned forward, submerging his face and tumbling into a room he did not know. He did know the two figures present, though. One was Voldemort. One was Severus.

_"Renounce him, Severus, and I shall simply destroy your memory and let you live. I will spare you. I will allow you your life - if you renounce him."_

_"No. No. I won't. I won't…Albus…I won't…"_

_"Severus. He would want you to live. He would want you to survive. Tell me you are not loyal to him."_

_"No. No. Kill me."_

_"It will break his heart, to find you."_

_"I will not - renounce him. You will have - to - kill me."_

_Mocking. "This time, I will do everything in my power to protect you. Where would I be without you? I never meant to hurt you in the way that I have."_

_"Stop it…"_

_Still mocking. "Severus is a good man - he is not a servant of Voldemort…" _

_"Stop…corrupting his words…"_

_"I love you so very much my boy. You are so loved…"_

_"Kill me."_

_"With absolute pleasure." _

_A flash of green light, and that was all. A flash of green light, and the bloodied mass fell still. A flash of green light, and it was over._


End file.
